Paul, Noelle, and Jane finally get to hold the babies

A few More pictures as promised...

a few birthday gifts

so the nurses at Orem Community are pretty much the sweetest people ever! they love our babies and take such great care of them. joel and i feel at peace everyday and night when we leave to work or eat or sleep. we know they will be in excellent care. we have really felt blessed to have such professional people working with us and our babies. yesterday was my birthday and while i was at the hospital for our final feeding for the day several of the nurses came in and sang happy birthday, brought me a little gift and a yummy cupcake! that was pretty much the nicest thing ever. a few of them said they were sorry we were still there but that they love our babies and are in no rush for them to leave. i really feel like part of a family at OCH and hope these women feel the love and respect we have for them.
my babies also gave me a wonderful birthday present and nursed really well at 2 of our 3 feedings. it was just the boost of confidence i needed.
my mom and dana got me new clothes for my birthday which of course i love. it's always nice to have something new and since i've been rotating the same couple of items for the past couple of weeks it's really nice to have something else to look at. plus it's nice not to wear something that doesn't accentuate the fat parts still hanging around. usually you can hide at home for the first couple of weeks but we are out everyday going to the hospital and trying to spend time with miles that i feel a little pressure to look cute. (PS i'm LOVING my girdle. it really does the trick. i've lost 6 inches around my tummy so far which i feel is pretty good for 10 days.)
this has been a great birthday with many more gifts and phone calls and texts and messages from my loved ones. i truly feel blessed and lucky to be in the family i'm in. thanks everyone!

a little perspective

So the past couple of days have been really hard on me. Ever since we've left the hospital all I've been doing is trying to get the babies to nurse and pump so that they can have an all breast milk diet. (one of the criteria for coming home is that they need to be eating on their own and right now they've got a feeding tube which takes care of all but 3 of their feedings which I'm trying to do) It's really slow and go and it's a lot of work for these two to nurse. Even when they do latch on and get a good flow going, they aren't really strong enough to take in enough milk to sustain them. It's been a slow process BUT the past two days they seem to have regressed. Of course I can't help but feel like I'm the one to blame and that if I could produce more milk or somehow make it easier for them they would just be able to do it. All of the nurses and their pediatrician have been really supportive but it's hard not to feel responsible for ever move these kids make. And to top it off I'm tired and extremely hormonal.

Well, last night our babes got some roommates. A set of identical twin girls were born. They are 38 weeks and just adorable. This morning when I went in to feed the babies I noticed that the new twins were already in the nursery. I can't tell you how jealous I was that they were already out of the NICU. And not like I was hoping they'd be in the NICU but I just felt overwhelmed that my babies are still struggling. (with the feedings not anything else) So there I am feeling so sorry for myself and my situation when it happened. I'm in the NICU with my babies when I hear one of the nurses say, "I need someone to help me show this mom her new babies. It's the first time she's seeing them. She just flew in." These sentences didn't make sense to me so I peak around the corner to see what's going on. Two nurses hold up these babies for the adopting mother to see her new daughters for the first time. She stood on the other side of the window bawling and just so full of love and joy for this gift that someone had given her. I sat back in my seat and thought how ungrateful I am for the blessings that I've been given. I thought, I'm sure there are many women who would gladly take my place and sit in the NICU with a "feeder/grower" baby and just be happy that they have a baby at all...AND I've got TWO!!!

I'm not going to lie, the nursing continues to be a struggle, and I have spent some time in tears over it. However, Scarlett and Isaac really were so easy for me. Joel and I got pregnant the first month we tried to get pregnant. I didn't have any severe problems with my pregnancy and the fact that I went into preterm labor just ensured that they got the steroid shot to help with the lung development which has NEVER been an issue for my little premies. They are healthy and beautiful, and we have excellent insurance so we feel no stress about them being in the hospital except for that we want them home with us. I am so grateful for perspective, and I hope I can keep it with me as we spend these next days or weeks in the hospital.

all of our children together for the first time 01.30.09

sara & joel's baby pictures

LeDawn asked for these from our moms for my Utah baby shower. Thought I'd share them with you. What do you think?

...and miles meets scarlett

After the delivery all the necessary tests were done and they brought Scarlett to my room pretty quickly. As I held her I sang I am a Child of God and she just laid peacefully in my arms. Then I thought I would sing a song she'd heard many times during this pregnancy. Sweetly I sang, yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me...I'm not kidding a little smile crept across her lips. I was just about to try to nurse her when they came and got her saying Isaac's blood sugar was low and they had him on an IV and they needed to take Scarlett back to the nursery to test her. I was sad that they took her away so quickly but was also really tired and hungry. It wasn't long before they brought her back. She was doing just fine. My brother Joel, Weedle and their kids came to see us and then my dad & his wife and kids came to see us. Later that night Joel's sister Noelle and her husband stopped by. It was so nice having so much family there supporting us. (My sister Emily got to the hospital during the delivery and helped send out the picture texts to everyone!) After everyone had left (sometime around 10p) I finally took a little trip to the nursery to see Isaac. Because he had an IV he wasn't allowed to leave the nursery and I still hadn't seen him since the OR. Joel, Scarlett and I went to see him and Sheri, his nurse was watching after him. He was so beautiful and looked just like a LaClaire. Many times as I have held him I've thought this must have been what it was like for Joel's mom to look at her newborn son. I asked Sheri if they wanted to keep Scarlett with Isaac and she said that was fine. I was really concerned that a twin alone wouldn't do as well as a twin with their sibling. As soon as we put Scarlett in Isaac's bed he nuzzled right up next to her. It was THE cutest thing ever. Sure enough, by morning Isaac was doing a lot better. :D
Eddie was kind enough to bring Miles down to Orem on Wednesday so he could meet his new siblings. Unfortunately he only got to see Scarlett but he liked it nonetheless.

the Long Version of the Delivery Story.

feel free to skip down to January 27th, our delivery day, for the shorter version :D

Sunday January 18th we go to baby Will's baby blessing out at Joel and Weedle's. That morning I can barely get a pair of Uggs on, my feet and legs are sooooo swollen. I can't even believe it. The baby blessing was beautiful and Weedle, who had a baby only a short month before has made dinner for probably 30 people and still putting women to shame all across america ;D. (She's got it goin' on.) That night we get home and I am frantically writing what I can on our baby announcements so I won't have too much to do after the babies are born. My feet and legs continue to swell and I start to get worried. So worried in fact that I call the doctor. Heather Johnson was on call and I say the key words, "34 weeks" and "swollen" and "twins". That got me a visit to the hospital. Here I am thinking we're gonna deliver some babies. Turns out they send me home with instructions to put my feet up! I am in pain but go home and put my feet up (which really means put your feet above your heart) and by morning I have literally lost an inch around my ankles. By the second morning another inch and you can actually see my ankles again. At my weekly appt with Dr. Judd he's kinda laughing at me and explains that I've got so much weight that my circulation isn't what it used to be and that this is perfectly normal, and although painful, his exact words were, "welcome to twins!" I also find out Dr. Judd is going to be gone the first week of February and start stressing out that he won't be here when I go into labor. Joel gives me a blessing because I'm that worried about it. Our weekly NST's went fine as well. Scarlett was still "baby A" and still breech.

Sunday January 25th I start having contractions. By Friday night I'd taken the last of my niphedipine and now Sunday night my contractions get to be about 2 minutes apart but not really painful. Joel gets worried, we call the doctor on call and say the key words, "35 weeks" and "contractions" and "twins". That got me a visit to the hospital. I think maybe this is the night and even start to think my water has broken. We get to the hospital and Ana tests for my water being broken and monitors the contractions. Nothing. Contractions are normal, my water hadn't broken and we go home. I am however dilated to a 4.

On Monday the 26th at my weekly appt with Dr. Judd we skip the Group B Stress test because Scarlett is still breech and Dr. Judd says if we deliver vaginally, they'll pump me full of antibiotics anyway so no big deal. I tell him about Sunday night and that I'm at a 4. Most of you know this already...while doing his own check he pushes Scarlett's foot back in my uterus cause she'd found a little more leg room. Well that night I'm definitely having contractions but they're not consistent at all and I sleep on 3 towels and one of the kids vinyl sheets cause I'm paranoid my water will break in our bed.

JANUARY 27TH: By morning I'm in major pain from the contractions I've been having all night. Joel had taken the day off of work so we go to the hospital around 9a. We get checked in and this time I'm fully expecting to go home again. Andra's our nurse and she asks if I'm the one with the "hourglass membranes and the foot hanging out." I say yes and "thank goodness cause if I wasn't you would have freaked me out just now!" My contractions are pretty strong. I'm at a 5 and Dr. Judd (who was "still" at the hospital for who knows since when) says, "let's get you ready for a c-section." We text our families and let them in on the good news. I get my IV and paper work going and they call the anesthesiologist to give me my epidural (hooray!) and we wait around. Dr. Lymann is head of the anesthesiology dept (or so I've been told) and gave me a wonderful epidural. I was pain free and loving life. I couldn't believe how much better this epidural was than the one I'd gotten for Miles. I really felt like I could have gone to sleep. It was the first time I wasn't being kept up by back pain or kicks or contractions. I was in heaven! Dr. Judd was doing a delivery and since I was feeling good I told them to take their time. I was in NO RUSH to have the c-section. Dodie our nurse for the day came in and took care of us with instructions etc. She was awesome and we totally hit it off. It was quite a pleasant day. Dr. Judd would come in and check on me and then leave to do another delivery, then come check on me and then leave again. At one point he thinks he feels a head and thinks if we can break the sac with the head down we can do a vaginal delivery. I am soooo excited! They call the ultrasound techs to come take a look and they confirm there's a head. At 1:30p they break that sac and wait for the head to drop and push the other baby out of the way. Later it turns out it was a little booty after all. While we're having our quiet moments Joel gives me a blessing and later we realize he mentions nothing of the surgery I was due to have. My dad came and hung out. We think we're gonna have a c-section around 3p. By this time everyone has called us wanting to know how it went and we explain that it hasn't happened yet. Dr. Judd comes in and I'm dilated to a 10 and ready to go. He asks, "How easy was your first delivery?" I tell him it was really easy...a half hour from first push to birth." "Well," he asks, "what do you want to do?" I'm totally confused. He says I can either go deliver these babies breech or have a c-section. I'm shocked cause I thought if the first one was breech there was no other option. He assures me he can deliver them but it's up to me. I look at Joel, my dad, the nurse and no one is giving me any help. I ask Dr. Judd what I should do and he says, "If you were my daughter I'd say let's go deliver these babies." I ask if I'm gonna seem crazy if I go that route. He says no and I say let's do it! I DID NOT WANT A C-SECTION. Joel gets changed; they wheel me into the OR. I start shaking from nerves. There are 12 people in the delivery room including me and Joel. As soon as we get in there I get the urge to push. I tell Dodie I'm ready and she says great. Everyone else gets settled and on my next contraction I push once, twice...next contraction I push once and out comes Scarlett, frank breech (butt first) and perfect. 4:12p weighing 4 lbs 12 oz. Joel and I are looking at each other and the tears start to flow! Joel cuts the cord and we move on to Isaac. Dr. Judd reaches in (literally) and grabs him by the feet. One push, or a big cough later Isaac is born footling breech (feet first) at 4:15p weighing 5 lbs 3 oz. What a miracle! As I'm getting wheeled out Dr. Judd says, "You made the right choice back there. That was much better than a c-section." The love that I have for this man who delivered my children is indescribable. He is a genius in his field, and I consider myself very fortunate these babies weren't born two days later when Dr. Judd was gone. He left shortly after to do some more deliveries, and I didn't even get a picture of him with our babies. BUT he is a wonderful man who really gives all he's got to his patients.

It's official. We're a private blog.

I feel like I can share stuff now. It's late at night and Joel and I are both exhausted. We got home from the hospital about an hour ago from attempting to breast feed the babies. (This one didn't go so well, but we're not discouraged because today we were allowed to nurse them 3 times instead of 2 and we all anticipated the 3rd one to be a challenge.) It's really hard to leave Scarlett and Isaac there every night but we are sooooo blessed to have so many qualified nurses taking care of our little ones while we can't. I want to write more and give you all the miraculous details of the delivery but I'm very tired and I'm gonna have to get up in 2 hours to pump. So I will just say, we are all doing well. We are fortunate to live in this time with modern medicine. I was talking to one of our nurses today about how it wasn't long ago that babies like ours would not have made it very long. Failure to thrive was the term she used. But today we have nothing to worry about because it's only a matter of time (and probably only a week or two at the most) before we will all be home together! (I keep telling them my birthday is on Friday if they want to really surprise me. :D) So in the next day or two I will share with you the delivery details and rant and rave about DR JUDD who really is THE man. I'll tell you about the cute moments we've had and the wonderful women who have been taking care of our children and what we can look forward to in the next couple of days. DR CORNISH is amazingly smart and we are so lucky to have him as our pediatrician. He is just so fantastic. Joel and I are grateful for these men and women and the power of the priesthood.

Good night for now and more pictures and details to come. (Joel's new memory card is not compatible with my computer so he needs to put the pictures up from his. You can also add him as a friend on facebook and get to see more pictures.)

going private again...need your email addresses

We don't want to exclude anyone, but as a new mommy I am nervous about putting all the details up for ANYONE to read and at the same time don't want to leave anything out. So before I do we're gonna go private on the blog. Friends and family and friends of family of our friends and family are all invited to give us your email addresses and we'll add you to the blog. (just leave it in the comments OR email me at saralaclaire@gmail.com)

I am anxious to give you the details. What a miracle we experienced! Our little babies are so perfect and wonderful. We are so happy to have them in our family. Truly, thank you to everyone for all of your love and support and thoughts and prayers and well-wishes. We hope you will all get a chance a to meet our little angels.

love,

Sara & Joel

ps. if you were on our blog when we were "private" last time, you should still be in our system & i won't need your email again. :D

A Few More Pics

Here are a couple more pictures that we took of the babies. Thank you all for the comments, Sara hasn't had a chance to see our blog since before the delivery. But I'm sure she will be the one to give you the "play by play." She has been anxious to let people know what happened. Again, thank you for all the sweet comments, phone calls and visits. We appreciate your prayers.